Vote for my essay so i can get a scholarship!

Vote for my essay so i can get a scholarship!

The True Pursuit of Happiness

I grew up and reside in an unsafe neighborhood, I’m a first generation immigrant, and I am a woman of color. My unfortunate circumstances made me a paragon of American values—ambition, independence, determination, and diligence. The world’s greatest misconception is working without ceasing is the pursuit of happiness. I would teach the world that religion, psychology, and experience prove working to acquire more is not the path to happiness. 
Religions, such as Christianity and Buddhism preach against investing your happiness in material items. The Christian Bible opines that if followers seek Christ, He will provide for them. If not now on earth, He will give them all that they need and more in Heaven. 
According to psychologists, Roko Belic’s documentary Happy proves the path to happiness is not more money. People who earned $50,000 were happier than people who earned $5,000, but there was no remarkable difference between people who earned $50,000 and $500,000. 
Regarding experience, felicity is found in family life, but like 57% of Americans, my family doesn’t eat daily meals together. Parents overwork themselves to provide for their family, but miss quality time with their children. Additionally, parents encourage students to choose studies over family because of resulting financial awards. 
A high paying job via a college degree is the only route to happiness presented to modern youth. However, higher education is expensive and laborious. With the money used to pay tuition, students could have pursued their career or experienced happiness through travel or opening a business. 
Although reputable work ethic is an essential quality, especially in today’s society, we are missing the genuine pleasures of life like family, travel, and a relationship with God. If the difference between a person earning $500,000 and $50,000 is not significant, why am I exerting myself?

2014 Bucket list

1. Do spoken word at café
2. Go snow tubing and visit the slopes
3. Work permit/drivers permit/social security #/get a job
4. Read 20 books or more
5. Donate plasma
6. Volunteer at New Hampshire with Trin
7. Learn to do weave really well
8. Do a hair project (all hair)
9. Go horseback riding
10. Buy chasteberry and fix cycle
11. Sell stuff on ebay or amazon
12. Become a pro at the guitar
13. Teach myself and pass clep tests for pre cal, English lit, and world civil
14. Bake bread (make a new food every month)
15. Get a book published
16. Camp in backyard
17. Fly a plane/helicopter

chapter 1

Tags

boy, conventional beauty, crush, infatuation, story

I saw him there. He wasn’t a conventional beauty. He wouldn’t be categorized under tall, dark, and beautiful, but something about him attracted me to him. It was like this magnetic pull that I couldn’t resist. He was lanky and almost awkward. He had long, dark hair, and a rounder jawline. Like I said, an unconventional beauty. He didn’t have the sharp jawline. When tense, his jawline wasn’t pronounced even more, but he was still beauty. His green eyes glistened in the sunlight, and I noticed his small, brown freckles just by his nose. I giggled. He has freckles. Crap, he caught my gaze. I panicked for a moment, and then diverted my eyes. Perhaps, he’ll know my secret. This wasn’t like the movies where boy sees girl, girl sees boy, boy and girl love each other instantly. No, life didn’t work that way. Life was more like a guessing game. You don’t know if he likes you and telling him could ruin everything that you never had. 

I heard his wonderful testimony, Lord. I heard how You provided for Him. You wanted Him to stay at this school. Lord, I like this school, but I’m unhappy because it’s not just the luxuries that I’m neglected of, it’s the necessities. I don’t have enough food, clothing(for the winter), or money. I don’t even have a way to go home. Thank you so much for the family that has thought about me. I’m feeling anxious because Uncle Conrad nor Aunty Grace has responded to me. Have they written me off? It’s okay because Joylin said she will try to help. Please help her to find a very cheap flight that I can take. I just want to go home. It would be wonderful. If there was a way to have my four years, paid in full, so that my parents could just worry about bringing me home and sending money for clothes. It would be wonderful if I could just focus on my homework, looking good, and getting home. Lord, I am asking you today to provide. I’m wondering if it sounds selfish to ask for the same  blessing that he got or an even better blessing, especially since he never asked for the blessing. However, I have faith and I know what I want. I want to go to NAPS, I want to teach Sabbath school, I want to sign, and I want to play in the drum corp. I don’t know, I just want to be in this for you, Lord. I want to be involved for you without the unnecessary worry of finances. I even maybe want to be in a choir. Lord, part one of helping me get my life together is finding a way to pay my tuition. If you did, mommy could pay to process our papers. We would be out of the struggle. I’m here for my family, you know, Lord, but if I don’t get my papers this will all be in vain. I’m not going to ask where you because I know you are here. I know You have plans for me to prosper and not fail. Help me Jesus. I beg of You.

Am I unattractive?

Tags

appearance, college, girl, ugly

Okay, this is a weird question.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I already have a boyfriend. You’re thinking that I am not at college to attract all the boys in the world, but there’s no worst feeling than this.

Am I not appealing? I know that I don’t wear the most fashionable clothes and my hair..well, I don’t do it…ever, but could I just be attractive for once? Is my personality not even drawing people towards me? I’m a girl, so I worry about these things, and I know that I can’t want a dime if I’m just a penny. I pray to Lord that my inward beauty would outshine my physical flaws.

I wonder if that actually happens. Can a person’s personality actually overshadow their physical appearance?

I‘m still trying to formulate what this blog will be about. I’ve considered writing a blog about all of my hates, but I think focusing on good events is better for me. Maybe this will be a sporadic blog. Maybe everything will be miscellaneous. I would make it just poetry, but I don’t have time. I barely have time to write. 

I was early to class today. I felt like the ultimate college student because I walked into class with time left to spare. My goal is to be punctual and prepared. I studied the wrong test, which was horrible. I will make sure to study the right thing from now on. I also did awful on my psychology test. Today is the day that I change my habits. I can’t let the people around me affect my love for education, my motivation, and my grades! 

I was born of poetry

Tags

birth, born, metaphor, poetry, simile

I was born of poetry

The daughter of Metaphor and Simile

God fashioned

Each valve, each vein, each artery

as a string in my fabric–poetic artistry.

Weaving through my body

leading to my heart

The da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum keeping  steady meter

like a washing machine

The electricity of my heart.

I was weaned

 on a diet of language and abstract art

“Hello mommy”

“Hello daddy”

“Mine”

I was no Albert Einstein, but

I was a master rhymer, an epic writer, a lyrical fighter, a peculiar primer, a world lighter,

and i was only four years old

on my daddy’s should–ers, I yelled

“Mademoiselle Rizel, Mademoiselle Rizel, Mademoiselle Rizel”

He taught me more

He taught me that lies rhymes with cries

rhymes with my first goodbyes,

but there was nothing good about it.

There were ” I want you backs” in gift form, but they weren’t worth my time

My mom gave me a cardboard box

and on its walls, I rhymed.

I spilled secrets

like, “Wait..Mommy, how do you spell together?”

“You spell it like to get her”

I giggled at the thought.

I want my family to be together forever I scribbled on its walls.

She took me to the library when I was six

She taught me this.

She taught me that loyalty is a slant rhyme for responsibility,

but twice rhymes with wife

rhymes with sacrifice,

but never let life’s ifs hold you back.

There were her feelings in book form that I sought to follow.

“This is the right night to write”- age six

And every other night that follows

My toes curl when inspired

I aspire, I desire, I perspire.

I am ae poet

Gerund-ing my feelings

Splash! Splashing a homogeneous mixture of ink, personification, and onomatopoeia on paper

for the kids that need imagination, emancipation,

Suffering from degradation and discrimination

Searching for love, but only finding unrequited infatuation

Poor literally, lyrically, and spiritually.

God,

“Your eyes saw my unformed body;

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Psalms 139:16

I was born of poetry

The electricity of my heart

like a washing machine

The da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum keeping  steady meter

leading to my heart

weaving through my body

as a string in my fabric–poetic artistry

Each valve, each vein, each artery

God fashioned

The daughter of Metaphor and Simile

I was born of poetry

Thirsty (NEEDS EDITING)

There are two different kinds of thirst.

The “I’m going to drink this melted Popsicle I found” kind of thirsty

and the “I’m going to sit outside of the Wade Hall compound” kind of thirsty.

We’re young adults.

Hormones. That’s the explanation.

Our hearts are racing

faster than our feet when we realize it’s after curfew,

but this guy

I barely knew

just makes me feel brand new.

He makes me whole.

He’s like the sole of my shoe.

His soul supports mine.

And there is a chemistry between us.

He’s thymine– or a pyrimidine base in my genetic coding. DNA

And I dont want to sound like I’m gloating,

but he’s the reason why I sing.

I wouldn’t be an Aeolian if it wasn’t for him.

My vertebrae.

I feel the melodic base in His voice. It trembles up my spine.

I curl my toes as his cool, rough hands trace my outline

His permanently scarred hands –unbarred my heart.

I call him “I AM”..for short

 “I am the way, the truth, and the life. none come to the father but my me.”

The alpha and omega- the beginning and the end. I am the greatest contradiction, but through diction

I versed your life into existence for I am the Creator of the universe.”

And before I met him, I tried.

I tried to fill the void while keeping him at a distance.

but my barren soul needed replenishing

feeling so right that I chose Sprite,

but obeying my thirst meant portraying your life.

You are the

The living water.

The only I am.

Jesus knew about the thirst before it was ever a trend.

You thirsties following each other at Wade Hall..go follow him.

Comfortably failing

By this point, socialization is a breeze to me. I see people from my school in WalMart and start random conversations with them. I’m myself now. I like having people in my room and interacting. I like volunteering to do song service with groups of girls. I like that I found a boy signer who is only 16 years old, but he’s willing to join our up and coming sign language group. I like my suitemates, even if they’re sometimes messy or have mood swings. I like that I ate roti from Curry N Hurry with Julian and his roommate. I like Abigail, Dannielle, and Naomi. I like the skating rink. I like that, although the food is not amazing, I always have vegetarian choices. I like jogging with people like Joshua, Rebecca, and Chelese. I like that I met the “hottest” dude on campus and realized that he’s down-to-earth. He’s actually a little weird. He reminds me of a hippy. I like the Miami group and yelling my friends names from outside of Holland Hall because girls aren’t allowed.

 

The only problem is I feel like I’m failing. I know that extra effort has to be put into college, and I’m not putting in the work. I often meet people who say they don’t leave their room, but I always do. When I’m in my room, I’m not studying. It’s difficult for me to focus on studying when I’m around my friends. Trust me, I’m not slacker. I just feel demotivated because I keep hearing people say, “You’re always studying.”

I never get a full 100 on my one- thousand question Bible quizzes. I always get 90s. Once, I even got a grade in the 70s. I keep forgetting to sign the attendance sheet in psychology class, and I just got my access code, so I’m barely caught up on online assignments. I received a B on an in-class essay in English, and I realized I probably deserved less because I didn’t answer the question. I could’ve gotten a 20/20 on my English quiz on Latin derivatives, but I didn’t read the directions that said to explain your answers. I studied for Dr. Paul’s bio test, but I had no idea he gave test like my high school science teacher, so I totally studied the book instead of focusing on my notes. Ironically, I missed my first bio test because I stayed up studying for my bio test. He said he won’t let me do a make up test, unless I’m perfect, which is difficult to prove. 

I haven’t missed a homework (except for Psych, but I didn’t have the access code). I’ve stayed up too late finishing homework, when I could’ve been sleeping. I need to put my education before my social life, but the people I hang around can really procrastinate or leave you in the dust.

I didn’t get senator. I got into Freshman concert. I’m in a signing group, but I haven’t impressed them because I’m a slow learner. My mom can’t pay the rent. First-years at school are always a rough start for me, even if it’s just mentally.

 

Failing to me is a B, C, D, or F..I can not let this happen. I need to also find more scholarships that I can apply for and a job..that will pay me cash. Ugh

Popular

So..there’s this boy, right? No, this is not one of those infatuation stories. It is a hate story. Basically, I’m experiencing the freshman syndrome. I feel like I’m embarrassing myself, and I’m not cool enough. I’m trying hard to communicate and interact, but it doesn’t help when others are talking about me. Well, I feel like they are, and if they aren’t they think they are too good to talk to me or even about me.  The boy was so excited to interact with my friend and I because we’re both going to Oakwood, but every time I’m aroundo he doesn’t acknowledge my presence. I don’t mind. I’m here for a degree, which is why I’d really like classes to start. I worked hard to get here, Lord. I hope I didn’t work hard to get mocked. I really have to put myself on the map by signing. Tonight, my group preformed a crappy skit. I wasn’t even funny. I hope people don’t judge my character off that. I miss the kind, silly person that I was in Boston. I still have a couple good friends though. By the way, it rained cats and dogs tonight.. I’m soaked to my underwear! I have a reading test tomorrow..I’m not sure if it’s required or not, but I don’t feel like it.